Trial number (I can't even remember)

"Ok, that's enough. I think I need some time", i said.
I put my phone down. My heart is breaking. I failed, again. The next thing I do, is sleeping peacefully. I was sick and tired of everything.
I left him alone after that. No calls, no text. I don't think I can do this. For someone I thought is a grown man, he is so emotional and have no boundaries for his words. Damn, its harsh.
He came to me the next day, asking for explanation. I said, "No. I'm not ready for any argument." It's true. I have had enough.
Finally, after many hasty words, my self defence is taking control and feel so powerful.
Deep inside, I'm tired. It feels like, I was riding a roller coaster for a whole week. I felt loved, rush, confused, but at the same time disappointing.  
God, why man makes me crazy? They don't give me butterfly anymore.
That day, I was sitting on my favorite cafè, drinking the best ice chocolate I've ever tasted. Feeling better in my loneliness.
I knew and realized, I was happy to be alone. I'm not ready for anything serious right now. I feel free, not be judged by anyone's standard.
As someone who constantly thinks not good enough, I feel enough and at peace.
He texted me the next day, at night, when i just get back from the office after such a long day, honestly, I'm fucking exhausted.
I was ready to drop a BOMB, but again realized, what makes me different from him?
Am i gonna being a childish grown woman instead of only a grown ass woman?
I sit in the couch inside the station, I think I don't want to take this shit  home. It will ruin my night. So yeah, i finished it up, and happy to do that.
It is a mess.
I don't think I want do this anytime soon. I can't find a happiness in a relationship, right now. Instead, I found my peace at my loneliness.
I was right a whole time. It's me, not you. I'm happy and enough with myself.