The Cungpret lyfe

Who loves it? Changing, I mean.  I was in the better place for a while but it was wrong. It's feel so good yet left uneasy feeling. Like, you see yourself as the shining star but it gets darker everyday Something isn't right, so I moved on. and I miss him everyday, like the moon missing morning sunlight. I fall too deep and doesn't know how to reach the surface. I sometimes have no choice but to be strong and brave. though it's like walking on the thin ice  Tell me, this is how I suppose to live?

Lama ga nulis, there's too much to talk about but everything went south and sour. And I forget so easily. Gue ganti karir di tahun 2022 feels great buat memulai tahun dengan sesuatu yang baru, though it uncertain, sometimes.. but hey~ let's try.  I was planning to stay for a while but I can't miss the opportunity. Gue pikir, gue ga akan stay di bidang ini selamanya, tapi kok lanjut. Yaudah, ikutin aja kemana hidup mau melaju, mungkin nantinya bisa settle down since gue udah 30 di tahun depan. Haha~ Gue udah vaksin 2x, Astra Zeneca. September kemarin udah kelar, lagi mencoba cari-cari booster sih, for better protection. Dan beberapa bulan terakhir undur diri dari social media, you know... fokus ke diri sendiri, build my career, stay tune lebih lama di linkedin, scrolling 5 detik, benerin profil 5 menit, have fun di tiktok, ngakak di twitter and left instagram completely because it's not my piece of cake anymore. Facebook? Ada buat nonton video-video warna rambut haha. Oi

Aku sedang berpikir, barangkali aku dan kamu memang tidak seharusnya bertemu Bisa jadi kita adalah bintang yang tidak seharusnya lahir untuk bersama Latitudo yang tidak seharusnya tersambung sejak awal Kita dihubungkan oleh garis yang tidak pernah ada. Dan apapun yang diciptakan manusia, penuh cela  Seperti latitudo yang diciptakan untuk menghubungkan ujung utara dan selatan. Yang dibuat hanya untuk memudahkan Lau ada kita, yang dengan naifnya berdiri dalam ketiadaan, ketidakpastian dan kemarahan dunia Di atas latitudo yang tidak pernah ada Memang takdir mempertemukan, jahatnya manusia memisahkan Mungkin jika kita tidak pernah bertemu, rasa sakit ini tidak akan ada Tapi bagaimana aku mampu menyesali keberadaanmu?  Kamu adalah alasan aku bersyukur pernah hidup Pada akhirnya latitudo adalah bayang-bayang Dan dia menghilang  Saat pendar utara dan selatan meredup Seperti kekalahanmu sendiri Dan juga kekalahanku Tidak ada yang menang di sini Mana Tuhan mau menolong manusia yang gemar membua

"When it is sent by God, it comes with confirmation. But when isn't sent by God, it will come with hesistation, frustation and confusion." I once believe something meant to be.  Like, I suppose to end up together with somebody else. But, fate turn the direction and we fall apart .  I once think to change my life, a brand new me but I failed. A year and a half goes by God lead me somewhere, and I get what I want but in different place.  In a new place, I once feel like had new friends but turns to be a foe All those experience told me that, you will never really know how the world works. Failure after failure eventually taught me something,  No matter how old you are, you don't really know someone or something because nothing stay the same and everyone's different.  Life always works out even though things doesn't go according to our original plan. I find wisdom in knowing that all the happiness and sorrow which I currently experiencing is a transition and tran

 Kadang ya gitu ya cara Tuhan memberi tahu segala rencananya.  "I have better plan for you" Indeed He had.  Dalam waktu-Nya Dengan cara-Nya Tepat menurut-Nya mungkin nggak selalu seperti yang kita sangka ataupun mau.  Ternyata gue ga harus menyebrangi pulau untuk berkembang.  Ternyata gue nggak harus pergi keluar untuk memulai hidup baru.  Jawaban doa antara doa mama atau gue, ya ini.  Bismillah semoga semuanya menjadi jelas 

I remember losing one by one, people who I loved.  I remember crying until I  fall asleep and hoping it's just a dream People die, people left, people gone. And all those memories remain to make you great and bitter Making you strong enough to carry on Moving forward with the grief that life gave you As you grow old, you've seen people carry that weight And when you see the mirror, you saw that weight on your shoulder When bad things happen you still cry but you moved on When life knocked you down, you get up and realized it's just life Your grief becomes muted You didn't talk about it, too much Because others had the same grief And you don't have to tell the world about your broken heart As they only said, "moved on" But in your grief you realized there's wound that never heal There's heart that can not be repaired There's relationship that can not be change And that's okay It's life, and you've just got to live with it.